Saturday night I just knew my sweet Charlize was not feeling well. Her fever was constant and her wheezing was awful. You could hear the fluid in her lungs. And when you touched chest and back you could feel how hard it was hard her to breathe. My baby girl..I was so worried.
She had been wheezing for about a week at that point, but we initially weren’t concerned because wheezing is a symptom of GERD and on Friday she saw the Doctor for a routine visit, so we thought she was ok. BUT THEN, literally, over night my baby girl went from bad to worse. We finally decided to take her in.
My anxiety was at an all time high. I was in the bathroom scrambling to throw some clothes thinking about what I needed to grab as we prepared to head to the hospital because who knew how long we would be there. It was in those moments when my panic kicked in. I started crying and before I knew it I was in the midst of my very first panic attack. I couldn’t breathe. My precious Ryan showered my heart in truth and helped me focus on breathing until I could compose myself and calm down. I took some of my anxiety medication and was finally able to head out.
Ryan and I waited forever at the hospital. Poor Charlize was so tired and crying every time she coughed because it hurt her. There was nothing I could do for my precious angel except shower her in the most snuggles I could possibly give. After a long wait in a room towards the back of the waiting area, we finally were taken back to see the Doctor. Charlize was given a nebulizer treatment. She was so good through this process and this seem to really help her. After being at the hospital for 6 hours, we finally arrived home at 2:30am to my boys going GERD on us. #ohmygerd!!! What a LONG night!
Two days after our hospital visit, we found ourselves back at the Doctors with Charlize. She had continually gotten worse. Ry took her in while I stayed home with the boys. Our poor girl has pneumonia. She is so sweet and still poors out smiles even though she feels so icky. Unfortunately, pneumonia is common for GERD babies. UGH #ohmygerd!!! #ihategerd
We knew it was inevitable for our boys not to get sick, as much as we tried. Today we took all three back to the Doctors. Our boys have bronchitis—which is way better than pneumonia. So, we are doing what we can to take good care of our precious little loves and get them feeling better!!! We are praying for a quick healing over all three of them and we know God is completely in control no matter how out of control this feels.
Our visit to the Doctor’s this morning:
THANK YOU so much for all your love and prayers!!! And for those who have given their time for nightshifts, day time help, bringing over food for our family, and loving on us in messages—you are a treasure!!!
ourjourneytoparenthoodblog 
Prayers are been sent. panic attacks are bad for you you need to think something happy as hard as that is in a crisis and take deep breaths. Sometimes this works not always. You can also breath into a paper bag. Take care of yourself as you got this babies who need a healthy mother,but you know that already
thank you!!! i so appreciate your heart.
I have joyfully been following your beautiful little (not so little) family. I am a Jewish woman and do not have the same “official” beliefs as you and your family but feel that all prayer, not matter what religion, is helpful, needed, and a blessing. I have read about your struggles and triumphs throughout this process. Faith is something that keeps us all going. We need to have faith in ourselves, our loved ones, our communities, and in a spiritual faith. I am proud of you Mama! You have been through a tremendous amount are making it work. Please know that everything you feel is for a reason. Panic attacks (the real ones) are so scary because they are based in a complete lack of control. I am proud of your for seeking help with your anxiety. I am just starting down the path. As mothers, we are always and forever going to have anxiety around our kids…are they breathing, are they happy, are they sad, are they wet, are they hungry…as they grow, are they struggling with learning new concepts, are they speaking correctly, am i obsessing over this too much..then (I am not at this stage yet), who are their friends, who are they hanging out with, should they use the internet, what things can i help control and not expose them to yet, can i control these things, should I control these things…I have heard that the worries never go away and now I understand that statement. My children are my most precious gift in life. They were so wanted and it took time to get pregnant. I want the best and then some for them. I have also realized that a happy mom leads to happy kids. Please NEVER forget to take some time out for yourself. You deserve it and so do your beautiful babies. I could write on an on. I truly wish you all a speedy recovery and restful nights. Keep doing what you’re doing Mama, you’re doing a great job! You are and have been in my thoughts and prayers.
thank you so much!!! i so appreciate the encouragement.
i have never had panic attacks until recently–and OMG they are wild. I am trying to just keep my eyes on the Lord and seek Him for wisdom. and of course take care of myself.
Thank you for loving on me