“So, Are They Natural?”

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A couple weeks ago I was browsing the target baby clothes section.  It is something I found myself doing often before I was pregnant, but eventually during our infertility season it just became too hard to even walk by the baby aisles at any store without feeling the gut wrenching heart ache of my own empty womb. During the first year of our struggles, I would actually buy little outfits for our babies. I had to stop because it became more torturous than anything else.  So now, expecting my three hope babies, I enjoy parading the aisles, especially all the adorable baby clothes.

Ryan and I have plenty of baby clothes for our little trio, but still, I love browsing the target baby section. As I held these adorable baby boy outfits in my hand that I knew we just had to get, I found myself in conversation with one of the target employees.

“Awww…when are you due?” She said.

“Well..”

I usually know where the conversation leads to next. People are fascinated and excited for us–and usually in shock that I have three growing humans inside my body. To be honest, it’s often a nice moment to share the joy of my three babies with someone I don’t even know. I love sharing this incredible joy with most people.

“We are actually having triplets, so our goal is late August.” I told her.

Her eyes got big. And she had such a big smile of shock on her face.

“TRIPLETS?!?! WOW!”

There was a pause. I smiled and thanked her. I told her how excited we were and thought the conversation was over. However, it wasn’t.  She then asked what sometimes feels like the inevitable question from random strangers who ask about my pregnancy.

“So are they natural?”

I could feel my heart racing and I wished Ryan was around. I have now come face to face with this question several times. I knew exactly what she was asking me: were my babies conceived through sex? Or in a dish outside my body? Are they spontaneous? Or did I have fertility treatment? Are they “natural”?”

I smiled.

“We went though In-vitro. These babies are our little hope miracles.”

Fortunately, Ryan was calling and trying to find me. I left the conversation feeling kind of annoyed. I am a pretty open book when it comes to our journey, so I felt silly for being so frustrated by the question, but I was. She was so kind to me and shared in such joy for our babies. And I know this girl had no intention of making me feel the way that I did, however this question caused me to wonder: What does she mean exactly by natural? Are my babies less special or less real because we went through IVF? I am proud of my journey and my IVF miracles. I went through so much to become pregnant and our story is one of hope and beauty. IVF babies are just as real as any other babies. They are just as special, loved, and the way I see it, just as natural.

So here is the best answer I can give to the question, Are they natural?:

Yes, my babies are natural. God knew from the very day He planted the seed of Motherhood in my heart what our story would look like. He knew what the struggles would be and the anthem of hope that would become of our journey. He perfectly orchestrated our story and gave us three precious miracle babies. Like all babies, God has perfectly knitted our babies in my womb. He gave us the miracle of triplets. He brought them into my life at the absolute most perfect timing and has delicately designed every detail as they grow in my womb. He made them and continues to be with the four of us as they grow and prepare for their big debut.

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7 thoughts on ““So, Are They Natural?”

  1. I really love reading your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You give me hope that one day I will also have a baby.
    As someone who has been struggling with trying to conceive I find that woman’s comment very annoying…she just doesn’t get it.

  2. I love reading your story. It is really beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey.
    I find I cannot say anything else. I thought of 4 different things to add, but my fingers would not type them.
    You and your husband and miracles will continue to be in my prayers ❤

  3. I don’t recall how I stumbled upon your blog, but I enjoy reading it as I too struggled with infertility for 7 years when I was married. Divorced 2 years I am pregnant naturally and due in a couple months. It doesn’t matter how you got pregnant, God gave you the miracles he did when he did and how he did because he knew you could handle them.

  4. I don’t think the girl had any intention of making you feel they were less than natural with her question. It was just her more tactful way of asking if they were conceived through sex. To people who have not struggled with infertility it probably never occurs to them how it sounds and of course she had no idea that you’d struggled with that. I think she was just being curious and was excited for you and really didn’t care how they were conceived it’s just fairly rare to have triplets through sex. She asked an honest question but of course had no idea how it would affect you. Sometimes you just have to give people a “pass” and recognize their intentions are good.

  5. I think what you wrote at the end of your blog post is so perfect. This question is one you’ll get for the rest of your life as a multiple momma 😃 my boys are 2.5 and when stranger ask if they’re twins, “are they natural” always follows. I think people don’t know what to say, so it just comes out. I always feel caught off guard and offended because it’s so personal, I feel like they are asking about my sex life in a way! Unfortunatly, many people don’t think of it that way, especially if they haven’t been touched by infertility. I like answering yes they are sporadic twins and yes twins run in my family, that way I answer but I don’t put them in any “category” because in my eyes, all babies are miracles and natural. 😃 I love reading your updates and praying your sweet Trio make it to every mark. My boys came at 34 weeks and spent time in the NICU, it was hard but NICU nurses are some of the most amazing people and the strength that you see in your babies, if they do need NICU time, is something that will change your life forever.
    Love, from a fellow multiple momma 😊

  6. Thanks for your blog. I am 10 weeks pregnant with triplets and going through all the emotions and trials of first trimester. We also had our own journey with infertility and are now on our way to being blessed with hopefully three healthy miracles. =)

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