Be Still, My Heart


On Monday I had a regular appointment with my Perinatologist. The babies were all doing fabulous. Moving all over, as always, and measuring incredible. Our Doctor surprised us with some 3D pictures, which was AMAZING. I used to think 3D pics were strange until I, of course, see them of my own babies. I was bawling my eyes out just to see their darling little faces.

Charlize Hope 2lbs 7 oz


Sawyer Reed 2lbs 8 oz

Unfortunately, Sawyer is currently smushed between his brother and sister, so we didn’t get really any amazing ultrasound shots of him.  My poor boy!

Jax Ryan 3lbs 2 oz

Check out his smile:



They are rocking it in the weight category. Grow my little munchkins grow!!

My Doctor checked my cervix and that was the downfall. Once again my cervix shrunk to a 1.6. The minute she told us I knew it was likely I would be set to triage to monitored and sure enough, I was.


I was so blessed that my sister, Deanna, could join us for our appointment. They wheeled me up to triage where my contractions were monitored and babies, as well. I could feel my contractions and definitely know now that I have been feeling them for a couple weeks, just didn’t know it. Our nurse, Jessica, was the sweetest. It blesses me to be around such amazing staff at our hospital. I was also given steroid shots to help with lung development for my babies. Thankfully I have had a lot of practice with shots in my bum, it made the steroid shot pretty easy.  Our Doctor came in to check my cervix. She happened to be monitoring it in the middle of a contraction where it shrunk to a 0.6. Unfortunately, it was right above my cerclage and we were told then we would be admitted for the night, at the very least.


They got me to my room and immediately started monitoring my contractions. My uterus was very irritable and I was contracting every few minutes. My night nurse, Katy, was amazing.  I was given a medicine, nifedipine, to help with my contractions. She told me to be prepared to be at the hospital for longer because after hours they were not seeing much a change with my contractions. My sisters and brother-in-law were angels and brought us clothes, comfortable pillows, and food and just hung out with us. It was nice to have their company.


It was late in the wee hours of the night. I was miserable, uncomfortable, and exhausted. My sweet Ryan slept on the chair next to my bed. I was up all night peeing. I had to contact my nurse for help every time I used the restroom and it brought my anxiety because I was peeing every 30 minutes. I had so many things hooked up to my body: an IV, my contraction monitor, and leg sleeves that were around calves which would blow up with air to help prevent blood clots since I was laying for so long. By 3am , I had had it. I finally had my own little melt down. Tears poured down my cheeks as I cried out to the Lord. I was worried for my babies and exhausted. I tried to cry quietly, but my emotions were kind of uncontrollable. Ry woke up and and held my hand. His love was so comforting.  My nurse came in because i, of course, needed to pee and she told me I could take of the leg sleeves for a little bit if I wanted. I was so thankful and able to get about an hour of sleep. I asked her in the morning if she has ever had a patient pee as much as me. She said “No, but you’re having triplets.” By morning, my contractions had changed a bit and my nurse seemed more optimistic that we may be able to go home, depending on my cervix. The second dose of the nifedipine seemed to do the trick, which they said sometimes happens. I was still having about 5-6 contractions in an hour, some 6 minutes at a time and my uterus was continually irritable. We needed my contractions to drop and my cervix to look good and if all checked out I could go home.


My nurse, Trisha, was with me all day yesterday and she was incredible. She monitored me for several hours. I was mostly impressed with her fast skills at getting the heart beat monitors on. She had an all time record, 3 minutes and 58 seconds. I couldn’t believe it. The first time my babies were monitored like this, it took 3 nurses. Trisha rocked it. And she was so sweet and so loving and so real!!!

Our Perinatologist finally arrived to check out my cervix and we were so happy to see that it was at a 1.4. My contractions were also looking better. I was going to be discharged.  I was ordered strict bed rest at home and can only get up to use the restroom. I also will continue the nifedipine for the next few weeks to help keep my contractions calm.  We have new goals to reach: 28 weeks, which is this Sunday. 32 Weeks. Anything after 32 weeks will be miracle status. For every day they stay snuggled in my womb, we lose 3 days in the NICU. So every single day matters.

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t worried. I am terrified and want to do all I can to keep these little ones safely cooking and am praying so much that my body can handle it. Ultimately, I know God has so beautiful designed every little detail of our story and He is with us now as we wait upon their arrival. Charlize Hope, Sawyer Reed, and Jax Ryan are destined to be and so beautifully made by the Creator of the universe. So, although this is not easy, I know God is good and He will see is through this. THANK YOU for your ongoing prayers and encouragement. Your love, prayers, and encouragement is such a blessing to us. You have no idea the impact it has on our hearts!!! Our little trio is so loved by you!!!

11 thoughts on “Be Still, My Heart

  1. Hi there!
    I was the one who sent you the message on fb- I have 17 yr. old fraternal twins.
    Found your blog & caught up-glad you mentioned wanting a catheter-when they tried to stop my labor at just under 34 wks, I too was up EVERY single hour peeing because they put me on IV drip of magnesium sulfate..the constant dragging equipment to the toilet (I was able to to it on my own ) really made me want to go home where contractions started right up again & then my boys were delivered.So, I would say to try to get one inserted if you go back or reduce getting up for bathroom..Not sure how you can though- What about a bedside commode to reduce walking? My husband was in a severe car accident last year & had to use one for a while- we also used it for camping for 2 nights..our American Legion gave us one-it’s easy to clean it by having someone spray it down in the shower..& embarrassing,but you’ll have to drink plenty of fluids for the babies & for avoiding constipation, since straining is bad for early labor & bad for anyone anytime, so frequent peeing is going to be the norm for a while-lol-
    Good luck & don’t let ’em out! 🙂
    Dawn K.

  2. I am praying for your triplets and you. I have a triplet story, but it doesn’t have a happy ending, I know I have a lot to look forward to and I kiss them everyday. Thinking of you.

    Their names were Jax, Stella and Beck

  3. Does it help you are laying flat as opposed to sitting up? I would think laying flat would take the babies weight off your cervix. Curious. I am sure it’s rough. Pregnancy is sometimes really rough with 1 baby, trust me I know. But at least you have a clock and you know when it will be time for them to safely come and you will be over hurdle #1

  4. Desiree! Girl I’ve been following your journey for quite some time now and this post hit me hard! I just had twin boys about 13 weeks ago! They are IVF twins also and were born at 33 weeks. They are doing fabulous, but having them early is never something you’re prepared for… I hope and pray your trio makes the goals you are aiming for! It is so tough though and I know exactly the worries you have. All you can do is trust that God will provide your every need… It is so much easier said than done though…. I’m so excited that you’ve made it this far and look forward to seeing these beautiful babes on your blog! Hang in there friend!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  5. Praying for the babies and you – You could always catch up on some digital scrapbooking for their baby books while you’re in bed. 🙂
    (I hate being sick in bed and can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for you).

  6. Sending prayers! You are doing an amazing job so far, and soon this will all be a memory and you will have your sweet babies here! Pregnancy is really tough on so many levels, and can only imagine how it feels tripled! Be gentle with yourself and pat yourself on the back. You’re doing great!

  7. It is Dawn Kirk again..
    Hope I don’t come across as “stalkery” lol- it’s just how I am,write a lot-
    My husband jokes that I can make a novel out of a thank you note & that’s true. I fill up both sides of the card, trying to make the recipient feel good by writing a “few” personal sentences.
    Was thinking about your bed rest journey again. One thing you can do is reflect..
    Right now, you’re in B.C.= before children! And soon, you’ll be A.K.= after kids..
    I did that when I was about to have my first born, a daughter (we have her-just turned 19, the twin boys-17&1/2, & last boy, 15) Four in less than four..Crazy.
    Also, what helped me is that when I was pregnant with my daughter, I flew to Florida to visit a dear male friend…His mom happened to work in the seems unbelievable now, but this was 1996 & before our country enacted so many security rules..She had me gown up & showed me all around the unit–babies were having tests done & all kinds of things. She really proud of her job & wanted to explain what she did. We were there probably an hour..this helped me when less than 2 years later,my twins spent time in the NICU. It sounds like it is a given that your triplets will be born early…remember,the scary looking machines are life saving..don’t be too frightened of their presence.
    & my friend Tracy W.’s quads born at slightly over 28 wks. are 16 now & fine & healthy young adults. Tech stuff for babies is even more advanced. her smallest daughter was less than 2 lbs. & says here yours are bigger already..
    To make the time pass by, every few hours that go by is a piece of 24 hours…I do remember that my doctor said to me (after I was admitted,then discharged,then admitted again, “at least we got in 24 hours more..!”) & now more time has passed in the half day it takes you to read my book post, hahaha-I think I stumbled onto your video reveal somehow when I was reading about the 65 year old lady who just had her quads..Ahem..not for me to say,but I would not at that age…

  8. Hi, I just came across your reveal announcement and have read your blog. I’m so very happy for you and Ryan and your soon to be family. You are a beautiful couple and I pray your babies will continue to “bake” a few weeks longer. My children, now 23 & 19 are my greatest joy and yours will be as well. God bless and keep you all safe.

  9. Hi, my name is Shannon and I just recently subscribed to your Youtube channel. I have been following a lot of pregnancy vlogs lately but yours is the first triplet vlog/blog I have stumbled upon. I will keep you and your sweet babes in my prayers (love the names you’ve picked, btw) and will pray that you make it to at least 32 weeks or even later so that there will be little or no time in the NICU for them. May God bless you!

  10. Pingback: Fortin Trio Update: 27 Weeks | ourjourneytoparenthoodblog

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