The grief I felt in my heart from my empty womb was nothing like I have ever felt before. After our IUI’s failed I felt confused and overwhelmed. I was determined to do whatever we needed to do and I knew one way or another I would be a Mother. Infertility is such a struggle. It is painful and even in my own walk with God, I found myself confused by His ways-often wondering why I couldn’t just get pregnant like so many other people in my life. Ultimately, I trusted Him and knew His plans were much better than anything I could ever create for myself so I had to literally surrender my womb and my story to the Lord each day trusting in whichever path He led us on.
After our IUI’s failed, we believed the steps God was paving for us was IVF. We received a lot of love and support from our families and friends, which was needed and gave us strength as we endured such a physically, emotionally, and financially challenging season of our journey. We also shared in some difficult conversations with loved ones who didn’t understand our decision to move forward with IVF. It was most certainly not easy for me to hear “this is not of God,” or “we will support you, only if you adopt.” I had a lot of mixed emotions, but ultimately, I knew the steps we were taking were from the Lord and I trusted in Him. Regardless of what others may have thought in our decision to move forward with fertility treatment I knew God was creating a story of hope for us and through us.
After our Gender Reveal Video went viral, some of those same emotions were stirring in my heart once again. We received a lot of wonderful amazing thoughtful messages which truly blessed my heart. And again, there were those who expressed their opinions and were completely unsupportive of our choices in how we became pregnant (as if they knew my story, my heart, and the journey I have been on). Some of these comments were crude, hurtful, and sad—they never even had a conversation with Ryan or I and they were ridiculing us for choosing IVF rather than “waiting on God” or “adopting” stating that we were “killing life” assuming we were discarding our remaining embryos. Because of this, I felt compelled to share my heart.
Why does it matter how someone becomes a Mother?
Struggling to get pregnant is a very painful, agonizing, and personal journey. Not everyone exposes their hearts and is vulnerable to the emotions that come with the walk like we have been. It doesn’t matter what path a woman chooses to take to build their family, all are beautiful and acceptable. No one should be judged or condemned for their story or how they became parents. I am proud of my story. God gave us a more beautiful story than I could have every designed on my own. We stood firm to hope and grew closer to our Heavenly Father and each other through all the pain and all the joys that this walk entailed.
God was in control of EVERY single detail of our journey. If God did not want us to become pregnant through IVF or it wasn’t in His timing yet, our embryo transfer would have been unsuccessful. He gave our incredible Doctors wisdom and education to have the ability to help us conceive, but ultimately, it was all in His hands. As well, I believe God has used our story of HOPE to reach the hearts of so many people. Ryan and I have 12 remaining embryos, all of which we will adopt out to other couples struggling with infertility seeking a family. Embryo adoption is not something I ever imagined we would be in the position to be able to do, however my heart rejoices that God would use us and our story to one day bring a miracle of hope to other families. WOW!!!
There are many avenues to parenthood for someone struggling to conceive: fertility drugs, IUI, IVF, adoption, surrogacy, etc. ALL are the right paths for the right person. It doesn’t matter which route someone chooses to take to become a parent. Shouldn’t we be celebrating life and the fact that people who struggled to conceive their miracles are becoming parents everyday instead of worrying or caring about how they got there?