“You know the most successful triplet pregnancies occur if you have given birth before, if you are tall, or if you are much heavier than what you are.”
Wow. I fall into none of those categories. In an instant I was completely overwhelmed with defeat, questioning my ability to carry three healthy babies. I was speechless. I didn’t even know how to respond to my Perinatologist, who I had just met several minutes earlier. It didn’t matter how factual this information may have been, what I needed, especially from my Doctor, was support and encouragement that I CAN do this. Although, it may not have been her intention to crowd my heart with discouragement, I certainly did not receive “the facts” all that well. I didn’t get any warm fuzzy bubbly feelings from her and was feeling a bit overwhelmed as our appointment continued.
I was looking forward to my ultrasound, as it is always a joy to see our three little ones. We got to hear and see the heartbeats, which is truly so remarkable and moments I will always treasure on our journey. The sound of their fluttering beating hearts made my heart so full of love.
As our doctor completed our ultrasound, she asked me a truly unbearable and heartbreaking question:
“Do you want a reduction?”
In translation, do I want to abort one or two of my babies? We had just seen three strong beating hearts and this was the question I was faced with. I realize this might be something all doctors are required to ask in situations similar to mine. However, my heart was suddenly grieving and saddened by her question. So many thoughts ran through my mind. Unfortunately, reductions for women in my position do happen and I can only speak for myself as I share what this personal experience made me feel. I never imagined that at some point along our journey, once I finally fell pregnant, I would be asked “Do you want a reduction?” I have been so desperate to have a child, patiently waiting on the Lord, and now I have three growing inside me. There is life in my womb and my heart broke at the thought of the question alone. This was never an option for us.
I simply responded with: “No. Considering our faith and the complete joy we feel for our babies who are literally miracles, a reduction would never be something we would consider.”
This appointment turned out to be nothing of what I thought it would . Part of me felt like the joy was sucked right out of me and traded for intimidation and a lack of confidence. I left feeling pretty overwhelmed, defeated, and saddened. I knew immediately that the doctor I was given was not the right doctor for me. So, we made some changes quickly. Despite how discouraging this was, I know that I am more than capable of carrying our triplets. God has richly blessed us with our trio. In my heart, I believe the “the most successful triplet pregnancy” is exactly what I am doing. I am doing all that I can physically to take care of myself and our babies and everything else I have to give to the Lord and trust that He will help me get through this season of pregnancy and be with each one of our growing babies. There is only so much that you can really control. It reminds me so much of our infertility season, which was ultimately based on trust and hope in the Lord. God faithfully designed every intricate detail of our journey to parenthood. I trust in Him and know that He blessed my womb triple fold. And I believe that He will give me the most successful triplet pregnancy because He has painted every detail of our story so beautifully. Instead of being completely overwhelmed by this high risk pregnancy, I am soaking each day in with my little ones continually telling them how much they are loved and treasured, knowing that God is with us as we wait upon the arrival of our miracle babies.