The two week wait. This waiting period is probably one of the most difficult times for any one person waiting to see if they are in fact pregnant. I have experienced several two week waits over the years and every single wait was daunting, exhausting, yet hopeful. However, unfortunately, each wait ultimately ended with a heart shattered and wrecked by the negative line that stared my dull in the face.
If you have walked the daunting walk of infertility then you may be able to relate to this, but I believe at home pregnancy tests can make you lose your mind and do things you never thought you would. One time I was so convinced that I was pregnant that I tore the pregnancy test apart because I was certain that it was wrong. I had to be pregnant. But of course, I was not. And again, last summer, I remember how deeply painful it was with my IUI’s when I tested at home over and over again. I wasted so much money on pregnancy tests. And to top things off I had to have blood work done to confirm that I was not pregnant. It was like taking another blow to my stomach. “Why did I do that to myself?” I often wondered after the trauma of experiencing so many negative results.
Because of my passed experiences, Ryan and I were committed to not testing at home during our wait after my transfer. The fear of experiencing yet another negative pregnancy test at home was greater than pushing through my wait, so I knew I could hold out until my blood work. I felt good about this choice and knew it would benefit us, especially me. The truth is pregnancy tests cause me to think irrationally, not to mention I have a poor relationship with them which only result in disappointment. I knew this would be the right decision for us.
Our two week wait was actually an 11 day wait because when we had our transfer our embryos were already 5 days old. 11 days didn’t seem too bad, until day 4. It felt like it had been a month, yet I had just been on bed rest for 4 very long days!! Some women experience very early signs of pregnancy: spotting, cramping, tender breast, etc. As the days passed, I felt nothing. I didn’t feel pregnant and it was discouraging. Daily I had to soak my self in the Presence of the Holy Spirit because I knew He was the only way my heart would have peace during this waiting period.
Finally January 20th rolled around. Ry headed to work and I went to have my blood test. THE blood test! I was in and out of my clinic pretty quickly. I knew it would take a few hours for them to precess my blood work and call with the results. The wait was on again. Those hours felt like forever!!! Ry and I had decided that when the Doctor called I would add him to the call so we could find out the news together. I was sick to my stomach all morning with constant diarrhea. My nerves were literally exploding. We had to be pregnant. I hoped so desperately.
Finally, our Doctor was calling. “Hello.” I was so nervous as i answered, I was shaking. “Do you want to give Ryan a call?” Dr Friedman said. You couldn’t tell in her voice whether it was good news or bad news. I got Ryan on the line and we heard the words we have been waiting to hear for so long:
“Congratulations, You’re PREGNANT!!!!!”
Wow. I cried and laughed, and cried and laughed some more. My emotions were everywhere. Praise God. The one thing I have always believed was that even though I didn’t always understand God’s timing, I knew His story for my family was more perfect than anything I could have designed for myself. On my hardest days I chose hope, I chose Him. He never forgot me… It was just matter of trusting Him with the details.
Later that night, Ryan and I took an at home pregnancy test (from dollar tree, I might add). And it was of course, positive!!! I have never seen 2 striking pink lines show up so quickly!! It was such an amazing feeling. After seeing so many negatives over the years, this was an exciting moment for us to share together.
I’m pregnant and my heart is elated with complete joy by the gift of life that is growing my womb. Thank you for continually standing in HOPE with us and sharing in our journey. The support and prayers have been more than we could ever imagine. God brought us hope in the midst of our storm. He is such a good Father. I look forward to sharing all the beautiful details of our journey that God gives as we become parents.