The Giving Heart

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“I believe you may need help from a Fertility Specialist.”

It was a little over a year and a half into our journey to parenthood when I came face to face with these words. As the days passed, where my womb continued to remain barren, I knew it was just a matter of time when my Doctor would recommend we move in another direction. However, I never actually thought fertility treatment would be apart of my story. A huge part of me believed that despite the infirmities in my body, God would supernaturally and miraculously give me a fruitful womb. Fertility treatment was not supposed to be apart of my story. I certainly didn’t want it to be. Why couldn’t I just get pregnant like so many other people in my life-without drugs, invasive procedures, shots and the outrageous cost of fertility treatment itself? My heart was filled with extreme disappoint. Ryan and I have been robbed of many things on this journey to parenthood and accepting that we may need treatment in order to get pregnant was hard for me to process.

In spite of everything, if I have learned anything on this long and exhausting walk, it is that God’s plan is sometimes not anywhere close to the story I have created for myself, but rather it’s always better. Despite the anguish and deep grief that infertility can bring, I know I will always choose God’s story for my life. And as much as I had hoped I wouldn’t have to seek fertility treatment I knew God was opening the doors for us to take this route.

As I began to accept that fertility treatment was in fact apart of our story, God began to birth a new kind of hope in my heart. He gave me excitement and wonder for this new season in our journey. It was more like an opportunity for us to work with fertility doctors that specialize in getting women pregnant–fertility doctors who are gifted at what they do as God gave them the ability to help bring life into wombs. Perhaps, this was just what we needed. It clearly was an opportunity that would increase my chances of pregnancy more than I would have on my own. This process would give us answers and direction and hopefully the one thing that we have been longing for for so long–a family.

As I did more research and once we found a Fertility Clinic that seemed to fit us best, we became hopeful about the process. However, despite how hopeful this experience would be, I was feeling clouded by the incredible financial aspect of what this new season of our journey would entail. We couldn’t even spare the cost of a consultation appointment. How would we be able to afford the cost of the treatment we needed? Just in my research alone, I knew we were looking at a minimum of a few thousand dollars with no guarentees. Fertility treatment meant an enormous financial investment. And that was money we didn’t have. And for us, Insurance is unfortunately useless in the process of obtaining fertility treatment.

Even though my heart seemed to be drowning at times with financial concern, I also knew I would do whatever I had to do to make a family. God planted the desire in me to be a Mother and if this was His will, the money would come forth. Plain and simple. The amazing thing about the Lord is, when He presents opportunities to you and they are of His will, He always knows how the story intricately unfolds–every detail is perfectly designed by Him. We felt confident that God was opening the doors for us to move forward in this direction in our journey and we trusted that somehow, someway, He would provide the finances for whatever treatment our Doctor felt we needed.

So, naturally, I scheduled an appointment for our consultation and we waited upon the Lord to provide for us.

It was just a day after I had scheduled our Fertility appointment when God revealed Himself to us. It was an early weekday morning. The sun beamed through my office window and I was working steadfastly while Jesus music filled the air in my office. Ryan was in the shower. His phone started ringing, but I just let it go to voicemail so I could stay focused on editing. I didn’t really think too much of it and mentioned to Ry that he missed a call. Ry listened intently to the voicemail. He stood in our office doorway staring me blank in the face in pure shock. All he said to me was “You have to listen to this.”

As the voicemail played, I recognized the voice on the other line. I instantly knew who it was before she even said her name.  The woman on the other line is and always has been very special to me. Her faithful devotion to the Lord is so inspiring and admirable. My heart beamed with joy to hear her voice. She continued to share her heart with us over the voicemail…

“Over the last few months we have been putting some money aside and asking the Lord who He wants us to give it to.” My eyes immediately welted. “We feel like He wants us to give it to you, so we are sending you a check for $3,200.”

I glared into Ryan’s eyes, as tears rolled down my cheeks-In shock that this just happened. I couldn’t believe that God would actually put our situation on someone’s heart in such a way that they would choose to generously give in this way.

Wow.

The faithfulness of this act of generosity from these servants of God was completely overwhelming. Despite the things they knew they could use the money for, they chose to obey the Lord and abundantly bless us. This was an incredible act of faith and trust.  There is so much beauty in a giver’s heart. And as the receiver to such a thoughtful gift, we were richly blessed.  I truly cannot express my gratitude enough and will always cherish this God ordained gift.

This was an overwhelming circumstance that was not too much for God.  Ry and I stood faithfully, trusting that if this was the right course for us on our fertility journey that somehow God would provide the finances for us… and He did. “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” Phillipians 4:19 . What a blessing to see God’s faithfulness unfold right before my eyes and to receive such a generous gift. This was a huge answer to prayer and lifted so many financial burdens, especially in the early steps of our Fertility Treatment.

God is the miracle maker. He makes the impossible possible. This was such a touching experience for me, as I was genuinely overwhelmed that someone would abundantly bless us in this way.  I was amazed by the magnitude of faith and trust a giver’s heart must have.   I also learned the importance of truly having faith in my own walk and not just trusting, but really knowing that our Father will always provide for us.

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